I dont know what to feel today!

The whole day today! such a nice feeling when someone is caring for you. Now, i dont know what to feel in the sense that i lost the track of my own world, i mean i dont know what to do with the mistakes ive made on how many years ago, such rediculous thing occupy on my mind i did it and i make it, such mistakes that cannot be undo and from that mistakes maybe it will bring me to a good me. But, until now i dont know what to do for the rest of my life, for me its really hard to decide and i dont know why im like this; maybe history can tell, but whom? the only person that know me much is my step grand mother no else is the only one that i can share anything and everything about my past days! now, 1 hour ago, i read a book about unconditional love, which make me cry for in a silent times, because im on joans house, i feel ashamed with what im doing in a previous days, God! what im doing to myself i say these words while recalling all my pasts mistakes it made me cry and say... i Need a solution to everything where that everything can make me more reliable and comfortable to go through the years that im going to take off! well, so far even how bad my day now its ok, i know i can continue with all of these... IM NOT ALONE, GOD IS WITH ME, AND I FULLY TRUST HIM THAT HE WILL NOT FORSAKE ME", making a mistakes,faults and etc. its just showing when u have to value yourself! Stand up and correct everything that is for you is not good and not a good habit to continue! listen to your conscience and find the answers!